Eva since tt 1 week of depression, i still haven overcome my guilt. On monday i had to announce the results in frnt of the whole sch... i felt total disgrace as i nva win any medal at all. Seeing my Gan Di receive prizes, did regret tt i nva learn much like he did. Tuesday nth happen much then, onli SS test and we did nt finish... Wednesday gt phy test, and continuing the SS test... Thursday, yesterday, took CME test - tt test gave us a sense of guilt man! Today our MYE starts, Eng and MT paper1(s) are the appetitser for the main course then. Didint know wat to write actually... Im totally clueless to pen sumth on the lined papers. Of coz i still need to submit sumth, thus lots of rubbish are passed up. I really wanna take a break, especially these 3 days... Rite now, i feel like a mindless body. I hav to do sum soul-seeking, reflect on wad ive done. I wan to set my targets again... targets achievable to myself.
PhantomG appeared from the dark 10:32 PM
Sunday, April 24, 2005
It seemed to be over...
After the Speech Day yesterday, it is declared tt i've stepped down frm my CCA... rite now i seemed to b lost in space... Lost In Time.. Is sunday today, i dun hav the momentum to study then. Used to b worrying on my CCA, tt pressure is gone. SYF we did achieve sumth, as for Wushu i wasnt able to achieve anyth... unable to forgive myself now. Tmr i still hav to announce the results in frnt of the whole sch... do feel ashame tt i nva get a medal. I was the leader but cant show a great example to juniors. Yet 1 of my juniors can outshine me... tt emotion isnt any betta at all. 1 month left to study for chinese 'O' lvl... wif many MYE in the middle. Im afraid i had to rush all my works, no time to spare on leisure. Is a bad news, but a gd news for myself is: after joining CCC, nt onli i've change a lot, my inspiration and determination come easily to me. I know i did morph into another person, my old prisch friends can hardly recognise me. Tt is wad my teacher said i can b proud of myself - Change For The Better.
PhantomG appeared from the dark 4:29 PM
Friday, April 22, 2005
Pride gone....
1st news... i lost my wushu competition. Indeed im quite depressed nowadays, sick rite now. Start wif sore throat and now flu. I think i have to make use of the time available to rest soon. My health is deteriorating... Nt the invulnerable one again. I hate to be ill when it shouldnt be time... Tmr the sch having Speech Day... Dun feel lyk performing anymore, i wanna take a break. Hweva, nt to disgrace the sch, I have to perform my dance the last time. Wonder if the GOH will b amazed by the art of fan we hav... bit lame i know. Real weak... tired... exhaust... I wanna rest now. Nth much to tok about now... Im in depression.
PhantomG appeared from the dark 9:02 PM
Saturday, April 16, 2005
gd things for now.....
Yesterday after sch, b4 the speech day rehearsal, we CCC chinese dancers celebrate at Seoul Garden. Buffet of coz... Eat all ya wan dudes. It cost $8.99 per student, expensive... Wif tt amount u can actually eat 3 meals. Teacher dun wanna eat coz of the total cost... She spend over 200 plus for us. Hw did she save tt much for us 1st? We r really grateful to her. Thus our job is to eat till we bloat? To me YES! I started wif a whole plate of raw chicken, cooked n eat... im sick of chicken now BTW. Juz bcoz of those chicken meat, i had nt enuf time to digest and eat again. Wad a pity... Should hav skip tt rehearsal. Hu will spend an hour for buffet? Such a disappointment... Sob. Then tis morning, went to bugis, accompanied my dad bought stuffs. Sim Lim Square but nt Bugis Junction... My dad prefer tt usually. He shopped wad he wan, i juz look around for sum things i wan. So after the 2hr plus of walking, i really found wad i wan. A $6 analouge watch... unexpected? U may think it's cheap junk but i find it precious in ways tt no matter hw much a watch cost, it can onli mark time. Unless is for fashion, ppl will surely hav to spend more on designs. 4 days to Wushu competition now... Dun find it exciting as i knew i will lose. So many national competitors... a very slim chance to win then. All i gta do is to try, allow myself to experience, perhaps the last, wushu spirit as a matter of my pride...
PhantomG appeared from the dark 10:56 PM
Thursday, April 14, 2005
The Run...
2.4km is quite a long distance it seems to be... Hweva when u r running 2.4km, u find it short distance sumhw. Mayb is becoz of the psychology? Or ppl juz hate to run? Today's P.E... a 2.4km running test for us, BOYS! Wat an absurb it is... supposing tt the runners should b the gals. Like they had relied their "2.4km test" sms in 1 nite. In d end, is the boys hu gt a surprise. In this type of situation doent matter much actually, but i was too tired to run. Mainly due to these facts... Recently I finished my SYF, then yesterday had a exhausting wushu training for next wednesday and tis morning im almost late for sch, had to sprint. Most will take these as warm-up then. Worse of all is b4 less than an hour, i juz ate my bread and drank water. Thus having stitch after 3 rounds aroud the park... My time was 12min53s... ya may b an E (1)... slow... I really wished i can do betta but my stamina and speed r juz pathetic. In fact it's the 1st time i run continuously without stpping. ok... I think i should train for the nex PFT soon nex year or so. Tmr gonna hav Seoul Garden treat by my teacher... CELEBRATE of coz, for the silver SYF award. So eat till u full, let it digest, u get energy... without energy, unable to train... Tis can be my excuse. Alrite 6 days to my wushu event, with a great no. of SWF national team competitors, I really need a miracle...
PhantomG appeared from the dark 10:00 PM
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Silver still beat bronze though...
6.15am... had to reach sch tt early for preparation of SYF competition. Y? cosmetics of coz... worst day of the week. Gilters, eye-liner, powder, lipstick, lip-liner, hairwax plus gel... wateva sorts of make-ups. I hate em, but did endure for the best effect of SYF. In fact for tis day, i was so nervous, trembling with fear... ya lack of self-confidence i believed. 8pm plus left sch... 9.12am reach the Kallang Theater. Man, gtta tell u these: 1st thing gt lots of female dancers, nt sure whether gorgous, but honestly I cant c without my glasses... so they r juz those arrogant ppl which looked down on us; male dancers seemed to hav a horde present sumhw... their dance were artistic, like wad the females can do, the effects absolutely unbelievable. 2nd thing is wad? mayb lame, the truth i wanna share is all boys can nva escape frm make-ups in Chinese Dance! Finished the SYF, we headed back to sch. Of coz we dared nt to show our faced (coz of the make-ups!) to our friends. We did run frm the bus down to the staffrm. Yet everything sure has a loophole... my classmate saw me. Juz a glance, thus wun b a prob to 4get. 3.30pm to 6pm... the results were announcing. I pestered my teacher then till 6pm. She called the coach for the prize info. Asked me wad is the medal we gt... Silver, i replied. Yes it is, if onli we were to prac seriously & more time, Gold might b in our hands... Oh well, tis is wad they said, aimed high fall high... No gold but Silver... if YS go, C.o.P... hAhAzz, jkjk....
PhantomG appeared from the dark 7:41 PM
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Sob le soon!
1st thing in morning, i gt SYF training... So nervous and panicking. Im so stressed on getting a gold, at least a silver. Y? u all know le... I wan to hav a personal achievement in tis last sec year. After all the tiring training, is always time to get sum gd results. During tt training, i was unable to continue... coz nva eat breakfast, no strength to dance then. I promise the teacher tt i will rest very well in my weekends. Monday shall train again! Tuesday, I need to reach sch in 6.15am... Kao! Wat is tis supposed to be? Didnt know SYF can start at 8am... wats more is the journey to Kallang theatre takes about 45min. In addition, we had to warm-up. The briefing made me startled and giv me sum trouble to think hw should i make it there. I really wish tt i can complete me task wif sweet victory, flying colours! Do look out for the changes in my blog... At least a week or so, i feel like changing my Background and music. I knew it can b irritating of me to do so. Tis BG is a fite between Alucard the Vampire and Anderson the Judas Priest... Black and white, frm the starting intro of the anime.
PhantomG appeared from the dark 6:58 PM
Thursday, April 07, 2005
A bad end of today's sch..
morning, had to run 3 rounds outside sch... timing was bad and gt some muscle fatigue. Of coz nex week gonna hav tt 2.4km run. I shall pass! re-test can b very vexing sumhw. 2-3 years ago, i was failing crazily. Sec3, a miracle! I passed! Hence Sec4 shall b the same... MT period it seemed so tt MT teacher isnt happy today. Worse, she didnt joke much like she used to. Soon... 2hr past? ya... Eng time. Eng teacher told us different style of writing of classmates. To me, yes it is different... Neat and Untidy (almost like mine). When we left 20min, she suggested presentation to b proceed today. Yet the whole class prefered talk-show. Lewis and his friend cheered too loud i tot... She chose em immediately. Lewis is the last to talk, but his talk was unrecognised by her. Due to tis incident, no more talk-show thus more handwork... A happy thing or a sad end? I think today is a much unlucky day for us then. The teachers aggravated... The upcuming event's stress... when izzit gonna end quick with sweet victory?
PhantomG appeared from the dark 5:30 PM
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
The Evolution!
2nd skin... kinda cool but nt much effect rite? Welcome all who came to tis blog... since i hav started promoting it? Oh well is really nth at all. Believe it or nt, tis template is edited by myself. The BG, alpha, blah blah blah... takes lots of time to understand html languge though. Today's wushu, my coach started to stress all competitor. I think i didnt hav a full stomach, nt enuf food means nt enuf energy. I was very tired all the way. Heard my event is at 20 april... hope i can leave the sch early to warm-up. y? competition ground muz b tried 1st... u muz know tt the carpet used isnt evenly flat. I aimed for a gold! I muz prove tt after all the training, im able to score a medal. Cum to think of it... SYF im oso aiming for a gold cert. I am the main dancer... leader. If i were to dance awfully, i will affect the whole grp. Hence all tis period of time, i need to stay focus. Most importantly, my health... Like wad my teacher said, "Once u fall ill, tts it!", meaning if u r sick, nt onli u cant bring out ur best, oso u r unable to catch-up. Recently many ppl having cold and flu... Betta take care of ur health ppl.
PhantomG appeared from the dark 8:10 PM
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Boring Day
Supposed today no badminton CCA... such a dullard... graduating classes have to grant sec1s' their freedom to play. Hence I went straight back home. In addition to tt unfavorable CCA, e whole CCA team seemed to join badminton without proper training... Is kinda unfair, bet many wanna b pro players like dey saw on TV or in their respective sch. Worse... others believe if u hav no talent means ur nth. Tt mayb y CCA team r unable to receive training... Juz to save cost i guess. boyA has 99% talent wif 1% hardwork/training... boyB has 1% talent wif 99% hardwork/training... Hu do u think will win when they met against each other? Mine is boyB... bcoz i believed wif 99% hardwork, u r able to transcend ur limits. Evey1 has equally distributed talents... is onli bcoz of fate, passion or interest, u r able to succeed in tt particular issue ( such as sports, academics,etc. ). So i hereby trust we should always give our best in anyth we do... We cant b perfect but we can try rite?
PhantomG appeared from the dark 7:57 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005
wads gonna happen?
08 days to SYF... 14 days to Wushu... 19 days to speech day... I am nt really gonna b able to concentrate in my studies... I already "flung" all my tests like wat. Teachers wanna scold but think they'll hav 4gttn when they came into class. Hope all teachers will give me more time, I need it so badly. BTW, the results r out for all maths on the board. I did deprove! Sad! Cant believe it... I muz score a betta results nex time! In fact im facing more prob wif maths soon. Tis blog... hopefully gt less trouble invited. 1st a stranger (so bored, nva play wif me le), now the iwebtunes.com pop-ups... Really sry to those having trouble wif malicious upgrade pop-ups. If can prevent pop-ups... i gonna edit the html. Hweva it is impossible. I gtta rest now... so exhaust for the whole day.
PhantomG appeared from the dark 7:20 PM
Sunday, April 03, 2005
sunday... my reflection
found out tt i can change the tagboard's style... so i made it black and red oso, the base colours of tis blog of coz. In fact, black and red is another special colours to my life. My competition costume for wushu is RED! Tis year 1st time SYF my costume is BLACK with RED gilters lightning-shaped. Normally, my favourite colours are white, navy blue, black and grey... red came last year, black is the colour my mum wished i dun wear often. Tonite ch8 gt Turn Left, Turn Right, hweva gt those hmwk need to be settled wif it... Rush work again. I used to be efficient, eva since sec3 i started to slow down and slack. Tis year 'o' lvl should hav a little prob i wished nt to face. Since a kid, my mum wan me to go Ngee Ann Sec express stream, study pure sciences... then a JC... a university. I failed 25% of it... I get to tpss express stream, yet in a pure sciences class. Things changed, i cant handle the stress given daily well... I felt like going for a poly, for a biotechnology course, and achieve a Certificate of Merit instead of juz a diploma. If possible i shall enter the university. Is my dad tot of being safe... He knew my conditions of studying, wan me to be safe. IF 'A' lvl failed, im at 'o' lvl standard. BUT a diploma still wins 'o' lvl, a C.o.M. worth more than diploma. So wats the path i'll walk?... ... ...
I gt my music up!!! BUT PLS PRESS NO TO ALL IRRITATING POP-UPS! THEY CONTAIN SPYWARES BY iwebtunes.com!
PhantomG appeared from the dark 6:15 PM
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Is nt a nice day but still nice but nt nice a bit...
Morning, sch's sports day. It rained for 1 hour plus... the whole track is wet! Luckily, no one fell down... Is so slippery! Then had so much screaming in the stadium. The crowd was cheer off pitch, man! Put earpieces of discman and cover ears. I'm nt used to the rowdy cheer yet. Bought lots of food but still hungry. My friends almost drool... a (food, guess wat?) i gt in the small stall. I still ate KFC shrooms meal wif med potatoes. (nt KFC meal, u guesed wrong?) After tt gt SYF training again. Time flies... Is gonna b my turn to compete like wat my friends did. I onli hope tt i can bring ot the ultimate best for tt "Ta Dance"... y izzit called "ta Dance" anyway? My teacher said gt drums, ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta! bong ta bong ta ta! Comments by auidence, is sure nice... Howva by SYF judge, u dun worth gold if u still stick to tt pathetic strength. I should hav trained my stamina to hang on till the tiring end. Cum back i exhausted myself already... Wanna watch tv. Tonite if possible (99% nt possible) i shall do my hmwk! English! I really need more time to settle all april activities. I promise tt this 'o' lvl i will score nt onli a pass, nt a C, will score a B4... no B3 for a E1 standard! I go rest 1st lah now...
PhantomG appeared from the dark 7:02 PM
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im dead..
im sum1 u hate..
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